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In the hangar

(Link, B.O.B., Susan, and Dr. Cockroach stare at a giant box)

Link: Whoa, what is that?

Coverton: (floats towards Team Monster) Whatever it is, it's humongous.

Monger: (flies towards the box) Look alive monsters, we've got us a new recruit.

Susan: Monster or alien?

Coverton: Mine! (pushes Susan and B.O.B.) I called it. Team Alien. (rubs the box) Enormous, pretty please be bloodthirsty alien. (sighs and cackles)

Link: (grabs Coverton's scalp) Uh-uh, back up. Monger said we have a new recruit. Boom, Team Monster.

Coverton: Team Alien!

Link: Team Monster!

Coverton: Team Alien!

(Susan grows to her Ginormica size)

Link: Team Monster!

Susan: (spits up Link and Coverton with both of her hands) Guys, why don't we just wait five seconds till they've opened the box?

(two soldiers open the box, Susan shrinks to human size, and everyone checks the box)

Dr. Cockroach: It looks like a...

leprechonian: (appears out of the shadow and dances) Leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun. (takes off his hat) Hee-hee!

Link: Uh, okay. We serious about this?

leprechonian: (dances) Leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun. (takes off his hat) Hee-hee!

Coverton: Team Monster, you win. No take-backs. (floats away backwards)

Link: Hey, tiny dancer ain't no monster. He's a...

leprechonian: (appears on Link's shoulder) Leprechaun.

(Link shrieks as he gets scared)

Dr. Cockroach: This does seem a rather unique case. I'm not sure a wee mythical creature is really monstrous.

Monger: We got two classifications here Doc: monster, alien. (circles a silhouette of Link) So enjoy your new teammate. Dismissed! (flies away)

Link: But he, he's not.

leprechonian: (appears in Link's mouth and laughs) Leprechaun!

(Link shrieks as he gets scared)


In the hallway

B.O.B.: Okay little dude, our secret base es su secret base.

Dr. Cockroach: Anything you need, just...

Link: (stops Susan, Dr. Cockroach, and B.O.B.) Wait wait, where'd he go?

Susan: Oh my gosh, (lifts her foot) did I step on him?! (finds an earring) No way, my missing earring! (picks up the earring) I lost this thing months ago.

leprechonian: (appears on Susan's shoulder) Leprechaun.

Susan: AAH! (pushes the leprechonian off her shoulder)

B.O.B.: Wow! (laughs) Finding a lost earring right under your foot! I mean, (laughs) I mean that's like, yeah, holding up your hand and finding a nutty fudge sundae in it. (gasps after seeing the sundae) Nutty fudge sundae! (eats the sundae and the container)

leprechonian: (floats near B.O.B.) Leprechaun!

B.O.B.: Got that right little buddy. High-five. (starts to high-five with another nutty fudge sundae on his hand) Nutty fudge sundae, oh! (eats the sundae and the container) I'm the luckiest blob on the face of the Earth.

Link: Wait a minute, lucky.


In Dr. Cockroach's lab

Dr. Cockroach: Astounding, it appears our new possesses an inordinate amount of positively charged (shows an x-ray of the leprechonian's brain) nano-electrons; which theoretically (puts the x-ray away) could manipulate probabilities.

Link: So, he's for reals, for total serious, actually luck lucky?

Dr. Cockroach: If you insist on degrading the concept to its absolute crudest.

Link: (goes over towards Dr. Cockroach) Uh yeah, I must. (bends his back) Who's my new best friend?

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

Link: Dararn straight. Come on.

(the leprechonian jumps on Link's shoulder; Link tap dances and starts to leave the lab)

Susan: Hey, where are you going?

Link: Just hanging with my lucky o'migo. (leaves the lab with the leprechonian)

B.O.B.: Me too, bye! (leaves with Link)

Susan: Probability of disaster?

Dr. Cockroach: One hundred and twelve percent.

Susan: Anything we can do?

Dr. Cockroach: Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend I'm in sunny Acapulco. (closes his eyes)

Susan: (closes her eyes) Mm yeah, nice.


In the living room

(Link and B.O.B. play a video game and unlock a hidden level that shoots lasers in real life)

video game narrator: Super secret bonus stage you didn't even know existed unlocked!

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

Link and B.O.B.: Leprechaun!


In the rampage room

Link: (rolls a red barrel and knocks down ten bombs stacked like bowling pins) Yeah, perfect strike!

(the bombs explode causing them to fly and bounce on several mattresses)

B.O.B.: I didn't even know we had a mattress collection.

leprechonian: (bounces on the mattress Link and B.O.B. are on) Ha ha, leprechaun!


In the hallway

(Link, B.O.B., and the leprechonian walk with each other)

employee: (stops the others) Hey Link, I found a sack of money. You want it?

Link: (takes the sack) Indeed I do.

leprechonian: (appears out of the sack) Leprechaun!


Sometime later

(B.O.B. scratches himself and finds a nutty fudge sundae; he scratches himself again to find the leprechonian)

leprechonian: Leprechaun!


In the mess hall

(Link, B.O.B., and the leprechonian enter)

Coverton: Oh look, it's Team Monster and their adorable dancing mascot. (laughs)

B.O.B.: (chuckles and moves his body) Gulity.

Coverton: No, I was insulting.

Link: You're totally right Coverton, we are loathsome creatures who offend you by our mere presence.

Coverton: Um, well, yes. Thank you, for recognizing.

Link: Tell you what, why don't you take a free swing at me?

Coverton: What?

Link: One freebie, (whispers) right to the kisser. (talks normal) I deserve it.

Coverton: Well if you insist. (tries to slap Link, but misses and moves towards the wall forcefully)

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

Link: Oh, lucky break for me. Come on, give it another shot.

(Coverton tries to hit Link, but misses)

Link: Swing and a miss.

(Coverton hits the ceiling and then the floor)

Link: Cannot believe my luck today.

(Coverton activates a robotic arm from his chair, but it repeatedly hits him instead which makes him groan)

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

Sqweep: (enters the room) When did we acquire a leprechonian?

Coverton: That leprechaun is a leprechonian?! Oh when you say it out loud like that, you can totally hear it. (gets hit by the chair's robotic arm which makes him groan)

B.O.B.: What's a leprechonian?

Sqweep: The native species of the fifth moon of Shamrock-twelve. They manipulate probability fields what some call, "luck".

Link: Fifth moon of Shamrock-twelve? You're saying this little guy is...

Coverton: (grabs the leprechonian) Team Alien! Bring that sweet luck to Coverton. (chuckles)

Link: (tries to grab the leprechonian) Give him back! (grabs the leprechonian) I'm trying to score extra chips from the vending machine. (puts the leprechonian in his arm pit) You know how sometimes two bags fall and it's like, y-yeah?!

Coverton: You have the lucky powers of a leprechonian at your disposal and you fritter it on potato snacks?!

Link: I wouldn't call this frittering. (shows one bag of potato chips) Ka-(shows another bag)ching.

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

(Coverton gets angry at Link they try to fight over the leprechonian; however, they had the leprechonian hit the wall and feel dizzy)

leprechonian: Leprechaun. Hee-hee, leprechaun.

(Link and Coverton jump towards the leprechonian and still fight over it)

B.O.B.: Guys, I'm sure there's enough leprechaun for everyone.

(Link and Coverton grabs one end each of the leprechonian)

leprechonian: (gets scared) Leprechaun, leprechaun. Leprechaun, leprechaun. Leprechaun, leprechaun. Hee-hee.

(Link and Coverton made the leprechonian hit the vending machine; the vending machine squashes the leprechonian; this made Coverton, Link, B.O.B., and Sqweep gasp)

leprechonian: Le-pre-chaun.

(Link and B.O.B. work together to lift the vending machine)

Coverton: So if smashing a mirror is seven years bad luck, what's the penalty for squashing a leprechaun: a week, ten days? Just curious.

Sqweep: Leprechonians are practically indestructible. I would be more worried that you made him angry.

B.O.B.: Angry?

(B.O.B. and Link drop the vending machine)

Link: What you talking about?

Sqweep: Leprechonian probability fields flow both ways. (shows its computer) If you make one your enemy, you may expect a horrible string of bad luck.

(Link and B.O.B. lift up the vending machine; B.O.B. took the leprechonian off the machine and sees the leprechonian growl at him; B.O.B. as he got scared)

leprechonian: (growls and crawls behind a trash can) Leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun.

(the kitchen utensils made noises as the leprechonian was speaking)

Link: (drops the vending machine on him) Ahh, my toes!

B.O.B.: Ahh, I don't even have toes!

leprechonian: (floats near B.O.B.) Leprechaun!

Coverton: FLEE! (moves towards the trash can the chef was holding which causes him to fall off his chair) Right in the thoramble. (cracks his skeleton)

leprechonian: (floats near Coverton) Leprechaun! (makes Sqweep's computer explode)

Sqweep: AAH, I did not do anything!

leprechonian: (floats near Sqweep and speaks in a deep, loud voice) LEPRECHAUN!

B.O.B., Link, Coverton, and Sqweep: (run in the hallway) Run!


In Dr. Cockroach's lab

(both Susan and Dr. Cockroach are holding coconuts)

Susan: I can hear the sound of the waves feel a warm breeze on my face.

Dr. Cockroach: Yes, wonderful. In fact, I had better turn over.

(Susan drinks from her coconut)

Dr. Cockroach: (turns away) Don't want to get a sunburn.

(Susan sighs peacefully)


In the hallway

(Link and Sqweep check for the leprechonian)

Link: (whispers) I don't see him.

Sqweep: (whispers) Quickly, into the elevator.

(Link, Sqweep, B.O.B., and Coverton towards the first elevator, but it closes; they try the second elevator, but that one closed also)

Coverton: Oh of all the bad luck----Oh right.

(Link and Sqweep towards the elevator, but it closes automatically)

Coverton: (uses his chair's robotic arms to open the elevator) Ha!

(Coverton, Link, B.O.B., and Sqweep enter, but fell down because the elevator didn't arrive)

leprechonian: (spins his head and talks in a deep, loud voice as the elevator lowers) Leprechaun!


Somewhere below the last floor

(B.O.B. gets off the elevator, and spits out Sqweep and Coverton; he then spits the chair)

Link: Stupid leprechaun...

(the elevator closes in between Link's lip)

Link: Ow! (opens the elevator to get out)

(the leprechonian laughs evilly as his echo can be heard)

B.O.B.: (shakes Link) What are we gonna do?

Link: Alright, (moves B.O.B.'s arms) I gots a plan.

(the elevator closes in between Link's tail)

Link: Ow!


Somewhere else in the hallway

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

Link: (appears instantly) Ha! (shows his horseshoe) Behold, the anti-bad-luck protection of the mighty horseshoe.

leprechonian: (points upwards) Leprechaun.

Link: Wait a minute, what? (get pulled upwards by a magnet along with the horseshoe and groans while trying to get free) Stupid magnet.

(the magnet surrounds Link with other metal objects, including a bomb that just explodes by him which frees him)

Coverton: That is some seriously bad luck.

Link: (tries to free teeth off the ground and succeeds) If the little green menace wants to get tough, (stands straight up) let's get tough.


Sometime later

(Link startles the leprechonian)

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

Link: Okay, listen. You've got the luck thing going and that's cool and all, but lookee what I got. (flexes his muscles) Believe you me, you don't want to press your luck and tussle with all this muscle.

leprechonian: (scratches himself) Hmm, leprechaun.

Link: (gets a muscle spasm) Gaah, muscle spasm! (backs away) Gaah, ooh, it really----Ow! Ooh! (gets run over by a tank and then thrown into the garbage disposal)


In the garbage disposal

Link: (tries to avoid the fire pit) No no no no! (falls down) Ow! (stands back up) Come on muscles, loosen up! Work with me here! (handcuffs his legs and sighs) Really?

(when Link reaches right above the incinerator, Sqweep uses its scooter to push him off towards the wall to save him; B.O.B. also rides on Coverton)

Coverton: No no no no! (hits the wall and lands on Link)

Link: Ow, again!

(B.O.B. lands on Coverton and Link)

leprechonian: (echoes his voice) Leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun leprechaun.

Link: What is wrong with that guy?!

Sqweep: I told you leprechonians have anger management issues.

Link: So now the guy's just being a jerk.

Sqweep: Yes.

Link: We're hosed.

Sqweep: Indeed. (blinks)

B.O.B.: No, I have an idea. It's a little crazy, a little radical, but I think it just might work.

Link: I'm listening buddy, lay it on me.

B.O.B.: What if you and Coverton, (gets viewed at a different angle) apologize?

(the incinerator burns up)

Link: Yeah no, not my thing.

Coverton: Mm, agreed.

Sqweep: B.O.B. makes an interesting point. A sincere apology would reflect well on you.

Link: Reflect, interesting.



In the rampage room

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

Link: (stops the leprechonian) Okay stop, hold up. Listen, this isn't easy for me. (inhales and talks fast) I'm very sorry about the vending machine accident. I, (talks like he's choking) I apologize.

Coverton: What he said.

Link: So what do you say, apology accepted?

leprechonian: Leprechaun!

(a weight bar drops down from above, hits a mattress, and breaks a mirror)

Link: Oopsie.

leprechonian: (turns around in fright) Leprechaun?!

Coverton: Oh dear, broken mirror.

Link: Let's see, by my count, that's (whispers) four, five. Yeah, (shows seven fingers) seven years bad luck.

Coverton: For you.

leprechonian: (gasp) Leprechaun! (gets squash by a weight bar and crawls under it) Lepre----(the same weight bar falls near him) Ow! Le----(avoids another weight bar and gets squashed by another) Oh!

(dodge balls roll over to the leprechonian)

leprechonian: (rides on the dodge balls) Leprechaun leprechaun! (sees axes over him) AAH, leprechaun leprechaun! (gets off of the dodge balls and on rocket shoes) Ooh, leprechaun! Eeh, (falls in the water) leprechaun! (gets out of the water, dries himself, and gets blown away by a giant blow dryer) Leprechaun----(hits a wall) Ooh! This stinks. I'm outta here. (sets the coordinates to activate a rainbow which takes him away)

Sqweep: Leprechonian problem, solved.

B.O.B.: I can't believe he actually fell for the mirror thing. I mean, who can't tell that they're looking at a----AAH! (move towards a mirror) Evil clone B.O.B.! (hits the mirror with his fists and head) He knows my every move!


In Dr. Cockroach's lab

(Susan and Dr. Cockroach wear Hawaiian necklaces)

Dr. Cockroach: And as the Sun sets over Acapulco Bay.

Susan: Aah, another day in paradise.

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